How many times have you looked back and said "Only if I................................." you finish the sentence. Only if I WHAT?
What if (pun intended) I told you that "only if I" is called HINDSIGHT?
Merriam-Webster dictionary defines hindsight as - recognition of the realities, possibilities, or requirements of a situation, event, decision etc., after its occurrence.
That's what "Only if" is - hindsight! If you could go back and change a situation, event, decision or circumstance would it make the result that much more better? Or is there a possibility that the change would alter the result and shift the outcome?
Stop living on "only and what if".
We can't undo what has been done and as much as what has been done may hurt, we have one of two options - stay in pain or move forward in healing.
Learning to Focus Forward was a challenge for me and I want to share my learning experience with you. Why? Because I know what it feels like learning to forgive yourself. I know what it takes to practice saying NO. I know how freeing it is when you put yourself first.
During the challenge you are well - going to be CHALLENGED! The goal is to move forward in the way we interpret, process and respond to information and situations to ensure a positive outcome and/or result.
Research in positive psychology has shown that our thought processes can be retrained to redirect our Flight or Fight reflexes from a subconscious self preservation way of thinking to a more conscious self aware way of response.
In short the challenge is to help you think before you act (or speak) and that takes practice.
Make sure that you are ON OUR MAILING LIST so that you will be able to participate. The benefits are tailor made just for you!
Stay tuned for more Challenge details!
Join the mailing list at www.sistaskeeper.com and there's something FREE for you!
How many times have you gone and done it when you know you didn't want to?
How many times have you done it when you knew you couldn't afford it?
How many times have you been called selfish, inconsiderate or mean when you chose not to?
Well guess what? You should have followed you gut! You should have kept your hard earned time and money in your pockets! And you sure as hell should tell the naysayers THANK YOU!
When you being to put a personal value on YOUR TIME and begin to become more conscious of how you spend it (time) and YOUR MONEY, those who have benefited from your kindness will come at you with everything they have! Not because you are any of those things that they call you to be (selfish, uncaring, inconsiderate, mean, etc). No. What they are doing is preparing their defenses for what they know is coming - YOUR EVOLUTION!
Because you are now placing a value on everything that is you, now that you are placing your wants, desires and needs at the forefront of your thinking, now that you are taking a good look at you, saying "NO" to the wants, likes and motives of others is getting to be that much more easier for you to do.
and if anyone can't accept and respect your NO without apology or explanation, well baby "I'm not sorry".
Time out for allowing folk to continue to use you because they "know you will". Time out for sacrificing your hopes and dreams to ensure that others come true. Time out for not putting you 1st!
Know this as life experience, a happier you makes for a healthier you and that makes for a kinder you! And while learning to say "NO" will not only be a change for them, it will also be a liberation for you!
So while the selfish, inconsiderate and uncaring will take offense at the very thought that you could even possibly think to tell them NO, the conscious, caring and supportive will applaud your good works, respect you the more and marvel at this new assertiveness that is you.
Surround yourself with people who willing want to take nothing from you.
Sista's Blog Keeper
Not here to counsel you, not claiming to know all the answers, not trying to change your mind, not trying to direct your path. Here to listen, here to share, here to let you know that a Sista cares.